Tools are usually required for any type of “fix it” project.
You would not attempt to repair a car engine or the roof on your house with your bare hands.
You would also not use the tools to fix the car engine to fix the roof or vice versa.
Likewise, you should not attempt to fix your marriage without the proper set of tools. If you do, you may end up doing more damage.
When you find yourself in a place to fix your marriage, it is extremely important that you have access to the resources you need to do it right. Otherwise, you and your spouse may end up more broken than when you started.
The tools to fix marriage are as individual as each person in the relationship. They are instruments of precision and extremely personal to the one using them.
Marriage is extremely delicate and requires the utmost care. When you undertake the task to fix your marriage, do so with great care and caution.
It is often a good idea to focus on fixing each aspect of your marriage one by one, in order of most pressing need rather than trying to fix the entire relationship in a single effort.
If your car suffers a catastrophic breakdown to the engine, interior, exterior and all functioning systems, you would not give it a paint job and assume it is fixed. It might shine on the outside but it would still be a wreck inside, unable to take you anywhere.
Communication is usually the first step couples must take to fix marriage problems. Marriage is essentially made up of two people who agree to communicate with one another in love and unity for the rest of their lives. However, communication breakdown in marriage is quite common.
This is because marriages are made of imperfect people with wounds and a few bad habits. These things develop along the way to create fractures in the relationship that can end in catastrophe. Starting with new tools of communication can implement big, positive changes in your marriage. For starters, ditch the old tools that aren’t working. If you are a yeller, drop your megaphone and pick up a sound softener.
Treat your spouse with kindness and respect. This simple adjustment can bring a transforming result almost immediately. Employ the tools of honesty, intimacy and fairness where they have been lacking.
Just as you wouldn’t put oil in your gas tank, or vinegar in your oil tank, stop putting the wrong substances into your love bank. Your relationship is sure to start functioning better as soon as these changes are made.
One of the tell tale signs of a broken marriage is broken finances. If you and your spouse are in debt up to your eyeballs, behind in rent or mortgage payments or hurting each month for money, you might need to make some major adjustments. Fixing financial problems with the same tools that got you into the mess in the first place is not going to be effective.
You and your spouse need to learn new tools to begin the recovery process. Broken marriages often result from broken finances because many people erroneously believe that they can “buy” a better life for themselves. Money cannot buy happiness, security or a better life. It can however become a tool to create a better, more free life that you and your spouse have yet to experience.
If you are both spenders, decide together on a spending diet that will help reverse the financial destruction that you might be experiencing. Finding a mentor or coach to help get finances on track is another excellent tool to repair the financial parts of your marriage.
Tools for Reserve
Learning to use tools to fix immediate problems is an excellent start to fixing your marriage. Developing life-long maintenance tools is also imperative to keep it going strong. You may have the shiniest car in the neighborhood, but if you do not change the oil, perform tune-ups or change the brakes regularly you will surely be parked in your driveway after a while. The same is true for your marriage.
You must find ways to maintain your relationship with your spouse in healthy, proactive ways that preserve your marriage for the long haul.
If you are reading this article to learn about ways to fix marriage problems that you and your spouse have encountered, you may be ready to take the leap to develop new tools today.
If you want to start repairing your marriage today, watch my free video to immediately learn ways to start working on your marriage. You’ll love the advanced techniques outlined here to help you and your partner develop tools and strategies to enrich your marriage.