Broken marriages are an American epidemic.
There are many factors to this dynamic, but fewer couples are finding viable solutions for staying together. With the divorce rate climbing, marriage can certainly seem dismal to couples facing major problems.
Broken marriages are the result of many things that can happen in your relationship. There is great truth in the saying that the smallest cracks can create giant fractures.
If you are reading this article and you are beyond the small cracks and are facing the giant fractures, there is still much hope for your marriage.
While there is great work involved in repairing a broken marriage, there is also great reward once it is repaired.
There are many cases in which infidelity destroys a marriage. It is one of the most devastating human experiences to face. However, it does not have to mean the end of the marriage. When an affair happens in marriage, there are big decisions to be made. Is forgiveness possible? Has it happened more than once? Is it likely to happen again? Can trust ever be restored?
Many counselors recommend a separation during the healing process, with regular counseling sessions and communication between the spouses. Affairs are rarely a surface issue. Once the root of the issue is uncovered, it can be examined for repair.
The offending spouse must be entirely repentant and committed to restoring trust and faithfulness, and the other spouse must be willing to forgive and work toward restoring trust into the marriage. This is a long journey to recovery, but one that is well worth it when true healing occurs.
It is important to note that not all affairs are sexual; emotional affairs are just as destructive. Infidelity in the marriage can mean stepping outside the marriage for the fulfillment of needs that your spouse is supposed to fulfill. This type of infidelity needs healing just as a sexual affair does.
Dishonesty, like infidelity is another form of betrayal that can destroy a marriage. Whether the lies are small or big, by omission or commission, they are hurtful and damaging to the relationship. Dishonesty breeds distrust, which can lead to divorce.
Marriage is absolutely dependent upon trust and transparency. When these are broken, the marriage relationship can also be broken. There are many ways that dishonesty can manifest in a marriage.
Overcoming dishonesty is difficult, but possible. Spouses who have lied must confess everything to their partner, pursue active healing and establish accountability in order to rebuild trust. The affected partners must practice forgiveness, accountability for their responses and actively participate in the rebuilding of trust with their partner.
Counseling is advised for couples who are in the process of overcoming dishonesty. The root of the problem rarely lies in the action or behavior, and this is addressed through counseling to reach true healing. Accountability is also established in the counseling relationship, which can help the couple stay on track throughout the recovery process.
FACING FIGHT PATTERNS
Some marriages break slowly over time rather than with one cathartic event, such as an affair. Patterns of arguing, hostility or snapping at one another with disrespectful comments can lead many couples to divorce. These patterns replace loving and open communication with anger and resentment. To break this cycle, couples need to stop focusing on being “right” and start focusing on active listening. Long established patterns are difficult to break, but it can be done.
Fresh perspective and new insight are extremely helpful to help overcome these difficulties in marriage. Counseling, accountability, and commitment to work on reestablishing the pattern each day are the first steps to breaking the cycle to restore the marriage. If you and your partner have found yourselves stuck in this repeating pattern, consider the following steps to reconnection:
1. Plan a retreat together. A change of scenery is usually very helpful when attempting to break a pattern. Different surroundings can help encourage different communication patterns.
2. Get in counseling. Counseling is the richest resource available to learn to replace old patterns with new, healthy ones. It is also a practical way to make daily investments into your marriage.
3. Read books and articles about marriage restoration. This sounds like an overly simplistic tip, but it is a great way to surround yourself with positive information and encouragement to help you in your efforts of actively restoring your marriage.
TAKE THE FIRST STEP
If you are ready to take the first step toward repairing your broken marriage, start here and watch my free video to immediately receive valuable tips on how to restore your broken marriage. You’ll love the advanced techniques outlined here to help you and your partner recover the broken parts of your marriage and renew your relationship. Marriage is designed to last forever. I can help provide you with the tools to make it last.