At the heart of marriage reconciliation you’re simply getting back to the basics that focus on the foundation of your marriage.
The tips you’re about to receive really work if you take action and implement them into your daily life.
It doesn’t matter what the cause of your current situation is.
Once you’ve reached a difficult point in your relationship, you’re withdrawing from constructive communication and there is a domino effect, sprouting many bad habits from that simple break in your harmonious understanding of one another.
It’s not just one person’s fault.
Marriage is a team effort despite any setback or who is seemingly the guilty party. This applies to everything – yes, even infidelity. Life happens and problems arise.
Take comfort, though, in knowing that whatever the circumstance, there is hope!
There are things you both do really well in your relationship, make sure you focus on those. It is all too easy to get lost in that whirl of negativity and forget all of the excellent aspects to your marriage; part of marriage reconciliation is realizing the positives can outweigh the negatives.
Often we find ourselves focusing and nit-picking on all the bad events in life, overlooking the amazing journey you’ve both made up until this point.
Substance abuse, violent tendencies or being unable to be faithful are serious issues that may exist in your relationship and may require more specialized support.
The real question is…
Is your partner able to see these problems and seek support and try to change?
If so, it’s important to take charge of the situation by providing the right outlets and services for help. You can’t change your partner. Only they can do that part.
However, you can facilitate their process by setting up appointments for therapy, substance abuse centers, alcoholics anonymous, sexual addiction groups, anger management and so on.
Try not to beat them over the head with the idea that they need to fix themselves. Rather, take action for them by giving them no excuse to refuse the step by step support system that is already available to them.
MOVING PAST DISAPPOINTMENTS
How long should you hold onto disappointments in your married life?
The answer? You shouldn’t hold on to them at all.
Simply let them go. You can’t change the past but you can move positively into the future with the experience you have gained.
If you can’t resolve previous issues try this method. The next time you look into the sky and see a cloud write and draw one grievance all over it with your imagination. Choosing one issue at a time lets you focus on letting it go. Every time that same thought comes back into your mind tell yourself;
• Will it help to think about it?
• If the answer is no… then say “I refuse to think about you anymore”.
• And let it go…
• Replace the negative thought with a positive one, a happy memory.
• Keeping a photograph of a happy memory will be a nice reminder
You can use this marriage reconciliation tip right now by looking for a positive memory or even memories and focus on the good in your relationship! The idea here is focusing forward on a more promising future. You want to embody a sense of hope and gratitude for the good that is waiting right around the corner.
MANAGING DIFFERENCES OF OPINION
You are both unique individuals, even the most balanced relationships find that there are differences of opinion. The trick is to accept this and move on. Does the fact they pile their clothes at the bottom of the bed each night rather than hang them in the wardrobe annoy you so much it’s really worth your thinking time?
Make a list of the top ten things that you would do differently to your partner… are they really that big a deal? Use your happy memory photo and read the list out loud to it. Do they feel as bad now?
MOVING ON FROM HAVING AN AFFAIR
Have you or your partner had an affair? Are you tempted to have an affair? Try and visualize yourself in the future, will you look back and regret your decision of staying in an ‘acceptable’ relationship, coping with those feelings of will it happen again?
Staying in the relationship could make you go on to be happier than you thought possible! Giving yourself time to heal and for the relationship to heal if you are the victim of a cheating partner may be worth the time. Rebuilding trust doesn’t happen overnight.
HOW TO REBUILD TRUST
If you are the person who cheated make sure the love of your life feels like they are central to your world in a massive way! Flowers and chocolates won’t make you the best partner in the world!
Don’t keep any more secrets of any kind from your partner. The person who has been cheated upon should not be expected to get over it and suddenly trust again, it takes as much time as it takes for the healing process. By being totally open with your partner emotionally and with absolutely honesty you can have a positive effect on your marriage reconciliation.
THE REAL FACTS ABOUT YOUR UNHAPPINESS
Are your marital difficulties really about your partner or is it more the feeling of being held back in your life or feeling worn down by life’s daily grind… Do you feel you or your partner suffer with low self esteem, suffering with general anxiety issues or being a perfectionist?
These are two of the causes of unhappiness. In general you can think yourself happy. Tackling your deeper personal issues will raise your happiness levels but just remember it is easy to spiral through negative thinking into the realms of unhappiness. Read this list out loud;
I am so unhappy, it is miserable weather outside and I am feeling tired.
Now read the sentence out loud again but this time with a smile on your face. Make sure you keep your smile through the whole sentence. Does it make you feel differently? Smiling releases endorphins and can be a powerful tool in marriage reconciliation.
Really, these tips are barely scratching the surface of the multitude of strategies that make up marriage reconciliation.