Whether you have been married 6 months or 16 years, improving your marriage relationship should be one of your goals no matter how long you have been married.
It may sound like common sense but the number of couples that become complacent with one another’s emotions over the course of their relationship is astounding.
Bottom Line – Great marriages are the result of great effort, plain and simple.
There is no getting around it. Great marriages can always be even better. Marriage is somewhat akin to a healthy diet: the healthier food you put into your body, the greater health rewards you reap.
Fill up on junk food, and you will surely see the consequences of that diet take effect. A healthy diet can reverse many of the negative effects of unhealthy eating, but it can take a while.
Many married couples wait until their marriage hits a crisis point to recognize that changes are needed, but there is no time like the present to start learning how to improve your marriage.
Remember Date Night, and Keep it Holy!
Couples who keep a firm commitment to a regularly scheduled date night with their spouse have happier marriages than those who do not. If you and your spouse do not have a regular date night, make scheduling one an immediate priority. Do not break it for any reason. When you keep a date with your spouse, you send the message that they are your number one priority. This builds trust, affection and emotional intimacy in your marriage.
Date night does not have to be a burden on the family finances. Go for a hike, drive or walk in the park with your mate. Meet for coffee. Share a picnic lunch. These things are low in cost and yield a high return for the relationship. Any time that you set aside to spend with your spouse is valuable time spent on improving your marriage.
Hand holding is something that is a simple but immediate step that can be taken to show your spouse affection, connectivity and devotion. If this is something you have not done in a while, it will definitely create a spark. Holding hands is something that signifies being in love with your spouse. Too many times, couples grow accustomed to a peck on the cheek before leaving for work or leaving for the day as their only source of physical affection.
Yet, it is an important part of the romantic relationship that should not be neglected. Make a conscious effort to hold hands, link arms or put an arm around your spouse, and watch the quality of your marriage improve dramatically.
Divide the Chores Equally
One of the most common conflicts in marriage is related to chore division. When it comes down to it, chores are really an opportunity to demonstrate love to your spouse. If your spouse hates doing dishes, clear out the sink before they get home. If your spouse is stressed out by folding laundry, finish it for them. Divide up the chores evenly so that you each have the opportunity to bless one another.
When you do chores, remember that you are building and maintaining your household. Use it as a mental picture for your marriage. Maintaining and improving marriage is much like keeping a house.
If you let the floors, dishes or laundry go too long, you will have a bigger mess on your hands than you can clean up in one day. You may even take health risks if you let it go for extended periods of time.
Apologize and Accept Apologies with Grace
If you need to say you are sorry, do it. Many couples get caught up in the “right fight”. The truth is, most people are a little bit right and a little bit wrong during times of conflict.
Your marriage is best served by focusing on aspects you can agree on with your spouse, rather than trying to hammer your point home. Apologies are demonstrations of vulnerability, which let your spouse know that you trust them enough to be vulnerable.
More importantly, apologies let your spouse know that you care more about their feelings than being “right”. This does not mean that you have to apologize when you are truly in the right, but rather for your delivery of the message when it is less than loving.
Apologies and their acceptances are vital to a healthy marriage. If you are the one needing to make an apology, do so with genuine repentance. If you are the one receiving an apology, accept your spouse with open arms. Hug it out. Make your marriage more important than the fight.
Make a Purposed Decision to Improve your Marriage
Chances are, if you are reading this article to find out how to improve your marriage, you are actively trying to reconnect with your spouse at a deeper level.
If you are ready to start improving your marriage today, watch my free video to immediately receive valuable tips on how to start. You’ll love the advanced techniques outlined here to help you and your partner reconnect at deeper levels.