Broken relationships are a standard fixture in our modern culture.
We have become a society of serial monogamists, preferring to terminate relationships rather than repair them.
The problem with that is people take their brokenness with them into each new relationship.
When the point in the relationship arises where the brokenness was never fixed, there are no problem solving skills available. The relationship ends and the people in it move on to the next green pasture. This is not how marriage was designed or intended to work.
Marriage was designed to last forever.
All relationships face some sort of brokenness. Fixing what is broken in your relationship can mean the difference between staying together and ending the marriage.
Recognize the repairs that are needed
Recognizing what needs to be fixed about your relationship is the first step toward fixing it. This means looking objectively at your relationship dynamic and taking ownership of your contributions to the problem areas.
It is always easy to pick out the faults of your spouse. Picking out your own faults is much more difficult. However, it is imperative to the health of your relationship that you develop the ability to recognize the areas you contribute to problematic dynamics in your relationship.
For example, your spouse may be distant and uninvolved where he or she was once close and engaged with you.
It is easy to point the finger at their behavior and lay blame there. However, if you look more closely you may recognize that your spouse has not drifted because they have experienced neglect or nagging on your part.
This might have been an entirely unintentional action on your part, or it may have been a symptom of an even deeper issue. The point is that you cannot reach the heart of that issue to resolve it if you continue to ignore it and shift blame to your partner.
When we address the issues in our relationships out of our own pain, we do not resolve the underlying problems. We must see past our pain and be willing to see the pain our partners experience to achieve true healing.
Practice the art of forgiveness
Forgiveness is the fastest way to fix a broken relationship. When you hold onto anger, resentment or bitterness, you do not allow healing to take place in your relationship. Forgiving your partner is the greatest gift you can give your marriage.
If you find that you are truly struggling to do this, try forgiving as an act of will rather than emotion. Sometimes in marriage, we need to go through the motions before the emotions catch up. Loving your spouse is a daily choice. Arguments and disappointments happen in every relationship.
They are a part of the human experience. Holding onto bitterness because of them only destroys the relationship when there is real potential for growth instead.
If you and your partner are able to set aside differences and put one another first, you will grow closer as a couple and stronger as individual partners.
Learn new patterns of communication
Communication is the most important aspect of a healthy relationship. When communication breaks down, the relationship soon follows. Fixing a relationship involves working on the communication patterns that have developed into unhealthy dynamics.
Choosing to develop new patterns is not an easy task. We are hardwired by our habits, and changing them takes great effort. However, changing the unhealthy patterns is the best way to fix a broken relationship.
If you and your spouse have gotten into a passive aggressive pattern, break this by being intentionally honest and straightforward with your partner. If you have developed a pattern of sarcasm or snapping at one another, offer words of kindness.
If you have developed a pattern of simply ignoring one another and find yourselves living side by side in silence, plan a coffee date with the intention of talking with your spouse, and listening to what they have to say. These simple fixes can go a long way in repairing the broken places in your marriage and start you on the road to healing with your spouse.
Start making changes today
If you are ready to take the first step toward fixing your broken relationship, start here and watch my free video to immediately receive valuable tips on how to restore, heal and repair the brokenness in your marriage.
Even if your partner is not yet on board, you will get the benefit of tried and true tips to restoring marriage designed by professionals in the field.
You’ll love the advanced techniques outlined here to help you and your partner recover the broken parts of your marriage and renew your relationship. Marriage is designed to last forever. I can help provide you with the tools to make it last.