From attending a marriage retreat to a weekend couples seminar there are many options when it comes to marriage workshops.
But, they are not a quick fix.
Your partnership, marriage issues have developed over a long period of time and there is nothing you can’t solve by applying what you have been reading to your everyday married life.
Marriage workshops are about strengthening your relationship through individual, couple and group therapy involving practical exercises.
It helps if you are a very confident person as it can be unnerving talking within a group or with a complete stranger.
THEY’RE NOT VERY PRACTICAL
I find the concept of marriage workshops to be great in theory but difficult to apply as a longterm solution.
Don’t get me wrong.
It’s cool to get away with your spouse and make your marital restoration more of an event. It shows your commitment to really giving this thing your all.
That said, have you and your partner both agreed you need help and support to get through marriage difficulties?
Oftentimes, the journey to fixing your relationship starts out as a one-sided endeavor.
I think it’s more realistic to start the process at home, working towards getting on the same page with your ultimate goals for resolving your difficulties.
MARRIAGE WORKSHOPS AT HOME
I want to talk to you about a concept I call ‘reflection’. Using this strategy you can start having your own marriage workshops without necessarily needing to tell your partner! ‘Reflection’ is a way of learning how to listen to your partner’s problems and concerns.
I mean truly listen.
I realize you possibly feel you are already a good listener but hear me out. Here’s how it works;
Listen to your partner’s concerns.
Then, repeat them back.
This simple two step strategy makes sure you have truly understood what your partner’s issue is.
They will also feel you have understood the problem.
Here’s an example; “I’ve heard you say you are annoyed with me because I haven’t picked up the dry cleaning, even though you asked me to do it and I said I would today”.
When your partner says “yes” ask, is there anything more you want to say about it?
You’re giving them the opportunity to get it all out without any kind of resentment for not being able to speak their mind completely.
UNLOCK THE POWER OF REFLECTION
It is hard at this point in the conversation to ask if they have anything more to say, but by repeating back the question and asking if they have anything more to say you are creating a calmer, accepting environment.
The argument is likely diffused and the conversation moves along positively. With ‘reflection’ the power is in your hands.
The power to clarify, calm and show compassion. By practicing this you are learning to use the key to successful marriage workshops.
Reflection is more commonly referred to as ‘active listening’ but I feel seeing it as a reflection allows you to remember the process involved.
HOW THE PAST AFFECTS YOUR “NOW”
Everything that has happened to you during your childhood and adolescence effects your now.
When your partner tells you something that they feel you have forgotten or done wrong it affects you on a deep subconscious level.
There is usually one thought that is at the center of everything… often this is not being ‘good enough’.
When your partner has tells you that the letter wasn’t posted or the trash wasn’t put out it activates that feeling of not being ‘good enough’.
Your defensive feelings are activated and you feel criticized.
The issues from your upbringing are left unresolved as you feel normal and never question these negative thoughts or feelings about yourself.
If you can talk to your partner about these feelings it will bring you closer together, giving you both a higher level of understanding.
By keeping this in mind and using the concept of ‘reflection’ , you can continue to improve your communication together and consequently improve your marriage.
Think outside of the box, brainstorm some new and unusual activities for you to enjoy. Put a little spontaneity into your week and see how this positively feeds back into your relationship.
Are you both artistic?
Get the paints out and paint a picture of one another. Play a board game. Take a pottery class together. Go Rock climbing. Whatever the activity, try to an evening of fun, positive conversation away from the usual stresses of your daily routine.
KEEP IT POSITIVE
I have told you about ‘active listening’ or reflection as a calmer approach to issues raised within your relationship.
Marriage workshops sometimes include information on smile therapy.
Obviously it won’t help to smile while your partner is trying to tell you something important.
But try to say all the things that annoy you about your partner while smiling and looking at yourself in a mirror.
Sounds silly, I know. However, it will mitigate the anger that you feel as you list out your complaints.
Smiling releases endorphins that make you feel happier.
By smiling in front of the mirror as your review all your critiques about your partner, you’ll find the situation less serious and stressful in general
AN OVERWHELMING PROCESS
The whole journey of marriage restoration is an incredibly overwhelming process for most couples. Really though, it is not something to be afraid of but to embrace.
The kind of therapy discussed here should be viewed as an ongoing journey of satisfaction and enlightenment, bringing you both closer together.
Make time for the both of you in your week to work on these issues. Saving your marriage should be your number one priority as it’s the foundation for every other facet in your life.
Take action and improve your relationship today.
Watch my free video right now on how to restore your marriage and rekindle the romance in your life – this is a must. I’m going to show you how right away.