Saving your marriage can be a very strategic endeavor once you know exactly how to approach your spouse and the problems at hand.
Here I am going to give you my 10 key strategies for saving your marriage right away.
These are habits and concepts that feed directly into a more fulfilling relationship at home for a balanced and happy love life.
Do Something Just For You
Maybe it would be a good idea to do something for you? What hobbies or interests did you like to do? Have you ever painted? Do you enjoy puzzles, reading books or surfing? Taking time out to be you will ultimately feed positively back into the relationship.
There is nothing wrong with doing something on your own. In fact establishing your own hobbies by nurturing your own interests can enhance your marriage. You’ll feel like you have an outlet to the daily stresses that can wear you down and you’ll be in a much better mood when you do spend time with your partner.
Ditch the Idea of Divorce
Forget the concept of divorce. Tell yourself divorce is not an option. If you find yourself considering it as the only way out, it means you haven’t fully explored the huge amount of other strategies for saving your marriage. It is a natural human response to want to escape a negative situation. This again is the fight or flight response. It’s easier to run then to stay and fight. Make the conscious decision right now that you are in it for the long haul and will see these marital issues through until you reach a resolution you can BOTH be happy with.
Reduce Your Stress
Life is full of everyday stresses but what do you do to de-stress? Taking up a hobby can help relax you or even taking a soak in a bath or listening to music. One person told me they grab ‘me time’ by sitting in the car and reading for fifteen minutes before coming in from work.
What can you do as a couple to distress?
How about instead of putting the television on as soon as the children are in bed, you instead turn on some music and relax together on the sofa. This can also help oven up communication between you as a couple.
Give each other back rubs or get romantic and take turns giving each other a full, body massage in bed. Light some candles to make the moment even more special.
There is ‘effective talking’ and ‘effective listening’. Neither come naturally to most people. It is easier to keep quiet when something annoys you and build that annoyance up in your mind. Unfortunately, this is the worst way to handle frustration. Your annoyances get saved up in your mind like a bomb waiting to explode.
Taking time to unwind and de-stress, will help open up communication.
Some of the suggestions above involves exploring new outlets, hobbies and activities. That’s because these interests will help with having something more unique to talk about then the typical weekly issues with work and home. Positive communication plays an important role in keeping your marriage balanced.
Letting It Go
If there are problems that arise over the course of a week, is it possible to let any of them go? Accepting that your partner did not remember to take the trash out AGAIN, is it truly important to you? Do the little things really matter? Right now…
• Make a list of everything your partner does that annoys you.
• Make a list of everything they do well.
• Underline on both lists the things that really matter, cross out the things you ought to let go. Realistically, nobody’s perfect.
Rewind Your Relationship
Close your eyes and remember when you first met, your first dates, that nervous feeling you had every time you knew you would meet.
Remember your wedding and all of those memories that bring about positive and happy thoughts.
What did you used to do together? Can you think of one thing? Is it possible to work in some of that early magic into your month? Have you a babysitter or family member that could give you some time together without the kids?
Looking back on what brought you together can help you move forward. There were factors that drove you together in the first place. Focus on them and see if you can incorporate some of those things into saving your marriage now.
Fast Forward To The Future
Looking ahead, what do you hope to get from life and have you ever discussed this in depth. What you both wanted when you discussed the future years ago may be very different now. Maybe one of you is still clutching to that path but the other is chasing change or challenge. When looking at saving your marriage you need to move forward together. This includes seeing each other’s wants and needs and including them in your life plan.
Salvage Your Sex Life
Has the earlier passion gone or do you still long for each other? A typical aspect to disappear from marriage is the sex. When you first got physical with each other you likely were over excited at the thought of even touching their arm. Has the hormonal rush that flowed through you gone by the wayside?
If so, know that this is absolutely normal. Tto spend your whole life with one person and keep things fun and original is an enormous challenge.
Issues such as aging and weight fluctuations can cause problems but also the day to day challenges or build up of aggravations can kill it altogether. Why would you want to spend time pleasuring your partner when you are annoyed that they are never romantic, never clean up after themselves or whatever else is pulling your marriage apart. Being intimate will come back with time as you learn to re love your partner or fix the issues between the both of you.
Recognizing Trust Issues
When you meet that special person you trust in them. Trust issues within a relationship can come from problems in a previous relationship, lying during your current marriage or having an affair.
Are there trust issues in your relationship?
Keeping your communications with each other is vital in healing and building trust. Give your partner the gift of time. Rebuilding trust is not quick. To save your marriage talk, talk and talk some more, keeping the methods of communication open is essential.
Unleash Your Sense Of Humor
Laughter is vital within any relationship. A sense of humor makes any situation more tolerable. Humor can get you through the difficult times. Have you ever heard of laughter therapy? Laughing creates positive feelings by releasing serotonin in the brain. It is easier to face life through a smile.
Laughter helps put some of the more trivial annoyances in perspective. Some of those little weekly issues, say them out loud through a smile… are they really so bad?
Don’t stop here…
Take the next step and watch this video right now on how to restore your marriage and rekindle romance in minutes.